Completely Unnecessary
by lapidary
Summary: Raito didn't really expect L to be wearing a dress when he walked in. Why no, not at all. [slight RaitoxL. May cause trauma of sorts.]


No, not really my first deathnote fic because I've collaborated with a friend under aRAUCANA, which I am advertising for people who are hopelessly in love with fics on crack.

Notes: I don't know why they're unchained. So let's pretend everything's happy and dandy.

Disclaimer: Deathnote belongs to someone other than me. O

--

"I swear that if you won't let me in…" Raito started with a crazed look in his eyes. God forbid, he had been pacing outside for almost two hours.

Misa has a big surprised for Raito-kun! Misa had shrieked somewhat affectionately. Outside, outside, until we're ready!

Drop dead, Raito had answered mentally, after experiencing consecutive no-sleep patterns. But he found himself falling head first onto the freezing marble floor as the door slammed shut, leaving him with a slight concussion.

Hours later, Matsuda appeared, an alarming shade of green on his face. Raito took it as a bad sign and managed to restrain himself from flattening Matsuda, walking through the doorway, and collapsing in the couch.

"Oy, Yagami-san." Matsuda shrugged weakly. "I'm thinking it's getting a bit tedious."

"Tedious?"

"I think Misa's going a little over the top. I thought she had meant to redecorate but…" he coughed slightly. "You've been out there for two hours? Anyway, the rate she's going, I think we're going to have a heck of a job cleaning everything up. She was much, much quicker with Ryuuzaki-san and-"

Sharply. "What? What does he have to do with this?"

"Err…" Matsuda looked slightly guilty, and obviously did not mean to reveal this bit of information. "Well, Misa expects to be done in one hour and… ah… ha, ha, you _are _being such a good sport…" he grinned nervously at Raito's murderous glare. "Hm… maybe you should come see."

Matsuda eagerly got the hell out of the way as Raito, disgruntled, dragged himself into the room.

Which was normal except for the fact that there were about a 287364 glossy prints of Misa pasted messily on the walls. The couch was covered with a dark pink fabric. The coffee table didn't quite look dignified anymore. A brilliant red tablecloth dotted with white daises made Raito feel rather nauseous. On top of the table stood chocolate éclairs, mille-feuilles, crepes, made company with sickening amounts of many-flavored mousse. He squinted at the devices near the teacup… were those Tamagotchis?

Wondering if he would pass out anytime soon, Raito unconsciously clutched his stomach and immediately wanted leave, deciding that the cold marble floor would be a better place to earn a rest.

"Matsuda-san, please place an order on another box of tarts. It seems that we're a few short."

Raito turned on his heels looked hard at the speaker who had bent down to pick up a spoon on the floor.

A silky, heavily laced blue garment, holding more ruffles than seemingly possible. Neat bows were sewed on at the shoulders, the dress, the waist, and weaved through the flare with an elegant ribbon at the neck.

Now that the speaker had climbed back onto the couch into a familiar crouching position, Raito could find no words.

He stared and stared.

And stared some more.

"Oh, it's you, Yagami-kun. I thought you weren't suppose to see Misa-san's present for another hour."

Silence.

Ignoring Raito's lack of response, L reached over at the table and delicately picked up the remaining tart.

Raito blinked as his eyes traveled up L's body. The way he sat revealed something that the too short dress could not cover.

Was L wearing… a _hose_?

He found himself too petrified to answer his own question.

L glanced up, and set down the half-eaten tart. He slid off the couch and walked towards Raito, who held his breath. Disbelieving. He flushed and felt slightly alarmed as the other drew closer.

"Yagami-kun."

"…"

L held his face three centimeters away, and peered curiously at Raito, who was currently doing everything in his willpower to avoid suffering a mental breakdown.

"You…you look… ummm…." Raito could not find the words. By the love of everything that is sacred, he could not find an adjective to describe L, who was looking at him with a bemused expression.

He felt dizzy. He couldn't think clearly. He just _couldn't_.

Yet, a thousand thoughts were processing in his mind. Was this part of L's plan? He had nice legs… Did L know something about Kira's fetishes? The dress actually emphasized L's slender figure very well. Was this a test? L's eyes and hair worked nicely with his attire. Is he passing? My god, are those _fishnets_ on his other leg! Passing out… passing out… Raito found himself rapidly loosing coherent thoughts and the life-giving gas of oxygen.

L mercifully ended Raito's mental rantings and picked at one of the-probably 80-bows that adorned his dress. "This? Hm… I couldn't understand why Misa-san would want me to be part of this. I believe she's still getting ready," L stated as-a-matter-of-factly as he handed Raito a rosy colored napkin.

"What… for?"

"Oh, there's just a very unhealthy fountain of blood emitting from your nostrils."

--fin

End Notes: I meant for this fic to be funny, but after the first write, I discovered that it turned out… serious and sort of… oo; So I ended up cutting almost 90 of it and starting it from there. Hahaha… pathetic.

Anyhow, this is what comes to mind when I've been drawing countless pictures of L in a dress. Flames appreciated if it somehow helps my writing…?


End file.
